Walk for Autism

Bubs 2 couldn't hang

Bubs 1, 2, their mom and I recently walked to support autism. Autism Speaks was the nonprofit that organized this walk. Bubs 1 walked the entire way, while Bubs 2 rode (and slept) in the jogger/stroller. We walked in teams. We walked with Bubs 1's Occupational Therapist's team and had a fun time. The bubs' mom raised almost $250 for the nonprofit.

Bubs 1 and mom walking

We knew about the controversy that surrounded this nonprofit prior to the walk. Apparently, this group uses language, which many individuals with Autism and parents of children with Autism, find offensive. I happened upon a blog while searching the Internet for this discussion on the language issue. I read this writer's comment, "... and I do not want my children, when they're older, to feel that they are diseased or poisoned or otherwise flawed, and it will be hard for them to escape that message given the common perceptions of autism in our society..." and instantly thought about Bubs 1's future perception of himself. How crazy would it be to consider this walk detrimental to those individuals on the spectrum? It would depend on how influential you think language is in our society. It's a deeper understanding than just simply dismissing that idea by stating that the walk is only guilty of raising awareness of ASD. The message I took away from this walk is that ASD is larger than commonly aware in our society, but more to the blogger's point, the walk helped perpetuate the notion that individuals with ASD are different from others, rather than promoting the opposite. We're all human beings, right? There is a discourse out there that says individuals with ASD cannot operate in society. Why not addressing the limits that society constructs and erase these invisible lines of demarcation? There's no need to point out the differences, because those "differences" are a social construction being misinterpreted as biological fact.

Another statistic

I'll be sure to teach both bubs about the construction of language and how power influences a culture's words. I'll also be sure to point out how a dominant culture's language tends to label, categorize and also dismiss cultureal norms outside of the mainstream culture.

Positioned stats along the walk

As both bubs grow and participate in the multiple social institutions they're going to be more and more submersed into the mainstream language (and its knowledge). We'll discuss the rules that will affect their lives. They'll likely question some of them and not others. We'll dig deep into the reasons why some of these rules were constructed. From there, we'll figure out who benefits from these rules, if anyone does at all. It'll be fun to deconstruct the world around us in order to better understand it. This will empower them to be more informed information consumers, which will help prevent them from being misled or unjustily influenced. I make it my job to share this education with them.

Bubs 1 and mom walking

Bubs 1 waves to a cow

Why do I want to do this? As a kid, who grew up with Type 1 Diabetes and I understand what it is like to exist on the periphery of the mainstream. For a long time, up until relatively recently, I wasn't even aware that I was on the fringe. I wasn't aware that my disease had a constructed discourse interpreting it. I simply assumed it all to be scientific "facts." I was different, according to the mainstream. I had no reason to disagree since I was surrounded by this common discourse. I ended up forging a life where I was different. It was subtle in some instances, and huge in others. Necessary? No. My school was the first social institution that reconstructed society and trained me to be different. For example, in elementary and middle school teachers and administrators told me to eat my mid-morning snack in the nurse's office because food was not allowed in the classroom. They were afraid of introducing my diabetic condition into the mainstream, because assimilation was more important. They decided to hide me, which I interpreted to mean that I should keep this disease quiet. And that's what I did. That's how I operated my life. The unconscious turmoil/conflict was never identified and dealt with. Rather, it just came out as low self esteem.

Ocean background

The bubs lives in a different world today. Medical conditions are typically well explained to students in the classrooms - not hidden. I've witnessed many medical conditions addressed inside the classroom when I was observing and student teaching inside classrooms.

Kids understand more than we give them credit for.

Censorship is never the answer and Autism Speaks doesn't act like my school's officials did. In fact, AS does just the opposite. Autism Speaks held a walk and promoted the statistics that describe how many people are different in our society. It's a paradigm shift to think of the limits society places on the mainstream. Instead, we've been trained to point out the individuals who differ. AS falls short of erasing these invisible lines.

Bubs 1 Turns 4

Bubs 1, mom and Grandpop Bernie

Bubs 1 turned four years old, two Sundays ago. He understood the birthday-concept thing this year too. His mom and I kept the celebration low key, because he's not a big on crowds. At least we don't think that he is. Maybe he'll surprise us one day, but from what we've seen thus far... he seems to function more comfortably in intimate settings.

Bubs 1 about to blow out his candles

Bubs 2 observed. He's learning a lot about life by simply watching his big brother. Their age difference is just over three years, so this automatically makes Bubs 1 a role model for Bubs 2. From what I've experienced so far, Bubs 1 is more of a teacher to Bubs 2 than both their mom and me put together. Bubs 1 must fall within Bubs 2's zone of proximal development simply due to his closeness in age. Being so close in age must make Bubs 1 a more meaningful teacher. His mom and I are just too darn old (and uncool) to be taken seriously. :)

Oh, birthday cake, I can't wait to eat you!

In a few of the pictures, we see the bubs' grandpop Bernie. He makes the trip up to the house, along with grandma Helen, twice a year. They travel up from Lynchburg, VA, where the bubs' mom was born. Grandpop Bernie grew up in Wisconsin and later, Oregon. Grandma Helen was born in the Phillipines and made the journey over to San Fransisco, with her family when she was a little girl. They made their way to the states on a Naval ship, courtesy of her grandfather who never returned home after serving with America during the Spanish American War. He decided to stay in the Phillipines. Apparently, the military honors their return trip no matter how long we wait. Grandma Helen is also a member of the DAR, Daughters of the Revolution. She has ties back to the Revolutionary War. Her grandfather was from the northeast.  She visits the historical archives, in the New York area, whenever up here. She spends a lot of time and works hard to learn more about her American heritage. At the same time, it must help her learn more about herself.

Grandma Kathy circa 1970

Bubs 1 blows out his candle

Bubs 1 was excited when he heard that his grandma and grandpa were coming up. It was exciting for me to watch his excitement. Last year, he was still seemingly unaware. However, this year held noticeable progress with his understanding of what was going on. Now that he's more aware and vocal, it makes me miss the time taken away from my mother, his grandma Kathy. She never had the opportunity to meet Bubs 1, because she passed away 18 years - almost to the day (Oct 4th) - before he was born. It's unreal to write that my mother died "18 years ago" and that instills in me a responsibility to keep her memory alive on this blog, so that both bubs can visit her anytime. This blog can serve as an artifact for them to get to know who she was, while allowing me the opportunity to write about her from post to post. Although I plan to be around a good long time and be a pain-in-the-ass for both these bubs, I'm sure that'll they'll learn a thing or two more about me after reading this blog.

I continue to learn more about myself with every post.

Pit Stop Turned Hay Ride

We took both bubs to a farm in upstate NY, on our way home from visiting uncle Vinny, cousins Gavin and Grace. We didn't know that this farm was here when we took a break from the road. It just happened upon us.

Within minutes all four of us were sitting on a trailer, sectioned with bales of hay for seats, hitched to a farm tractor. Our driver was a recently retired history teacher, who pleases his wife by staying out of the house working on the farm. Unfortunately, I'm forgetting his name. Now that it was about three weeks since this trip, my CRS is setting in. I was supposed to have this post up already, but now that I'm working myself... my free time has slipped away. At any rate, I digress. The history-teacher-turned-farm-tractor-hay-ride driver, yes - that guy. Well, he seemed to be enjoying the heck out of his new job and even offered Bubs 1 a seat on the big blue tractor.

At first, Bubs 1 seemed uninterested. He walked towards the trailer, instead of the tractor, when we asked him if he wanted to sit on the tractor. Then the interested seemed to seep into him. This is when Bubs 1 casually glanced over at the tractor, then he looked at us. We continued our encouragement. Bubs 1 stopped in his tracks, smiled and walked back over to me seemingly embarrassed by all the attention. Without asking again, I just picked him up and handed him over to the retired teacher, who placed the bubs on the tractor seat.
 Bubs 1 sat there silently looking around at the big ol tractor. I think he was amazed at the size of it. His no words described it perfectly. We went on to pick out some pumpkins in the patch and returned back to the farm. Our pit stop was done and back on the highway we went.

For the first 11 years of my life (before the shit hit the fan), I grew up in farm land country, in northern NJ. I remember a "Farm and Horse Show," in Sussex, NJ. It was about 30 minutes from our home. I think that we (my mother, brother and I) went there on a few Octobers. I have a memory of a picture (unfortunately not the event... more CRS??) where I was sitting on a pony. There was some other person holding the pony's straps (Bridle?) as they guided this pony in circles around a pen, giving rides to kids like me. I don't remember much else about this fair, but we're also talking about the 1970's so my memory may not be that bad at all.

Bubs 1 told his mom and me that he want's to be a ghost for Halloween. We were surprised, but very happy that he's taking an interest. So a ghost he'll be. I'm wondering if he'll allow us to put a sheet over his head? Not likely, so we'll have to get creative with this costume. I remember being a ghost when I was in Kindergarten (almost the same age as the bubs), but this memory also comes from a picture. There's another picture (where are all of these pictures!!!) of me somewhere standing in front of my old house in a Casper-the-Friendly-Ghost costume. You know the old school costumes with the mask that didn't allow you to breath properly? Yes, those.

Where are all of these pictures of me as a kid? Who knows. I think they were all left in that house I lost when my family fell apart. I'm glad that I'm keeping this blog, because I don't think that the Internet is going to be lost anytime soon.

Participating in Research Studies

Bubs 2's "brain cap" is made
up of magnetic sensors and
saline water

Bubs 1 chillin while his
brother participates in
research

We got up early, yesterday, and headed to Yale University's Child Study Center. Both Bubs 1 and 2, Mom, and I have done this trip a few times before, because Bubs 2 is the subject of a study. The research he participates in will hopefully help kids, like his brother, who sit on the autism spectrum. More specifically, he is participating with "...early detection of autism in infants; studies of basic mechanisms of socialization such as babies' preferential attention to the eyes, gaze, and voice of others..."

Bubs 2 has no autism spectrum diagnosis (yet and hopefully never), but he qualifies for this study because his brother, Bubs 1, is on the spectrum.

Bubs 1 and I ran trucks like
these up and down the
hallways at the
study center.

We decided to include Bubs 2 in the Yale study, because we wanted to learn more about Bubs 1. We also wanted to have early intervention for Bubs 2, in case there is anything going on with him. In addition, we felt that having access to as many resources as possible could only position us in good company as we learned more about Bubs 1.

 As part of this research study, Bubs 2 gets to where an electroencephalographic "brain cap," which he wears while watching videos. He's a good little participant. Wearing that cap doesn't seem to be uncomfortable for him. It's basically a bunch of small, magnetic sensors that fit around his head. Nothing sharp. However, it is wet. There is a saline solution that apparently allow the sensors to receieve his brain waves more easily.

Bubs 2 participating in research by
donning a "brain cap"

While down at Yale yesterday morning, we were informed that the Child Study Center happened to be hosting a get-together for the families involved in their research, staff and faculty included. Although Bubs 2 was a bit tired from all his research activities, we still attended. He eventually fell asleep while we hung out in the Center's courtyard, meeting many individuals associated with the study. As I held Bubs 2, his mom and I watched Bubs 1 enjoying himself while he played with other the kids in the courtyard. There were bubbles (a very cool bubble machine), bean bag tossing, face painting and animal-shaped balloons. The members of the child study team greeted us warmly. They thanked us for Bubs 2's participation. We, Bubs 1's mom and I, found ourselves unexpectedly relaxed while watching Bubs 1 play with the other kids.

Cool toys for siblings who wait

We felt a membership with this group of people even though it was the first time that we had met many of them. We met the faculty member who is leading the study that requires the  electroencephalographic cap. I told him how much my wife and I were enjoying our visit there. As a rule, we are usually never that relaxed when Bubs 1 is playing with other kids. As I mentioned in a previous blog post, we never know when the bubs will need our help. The faculty member, Jamie, said that we were surrounded by individuals that have been working with ASD kids for many years. When Jamie said that, I felt some invisible weight fall from my shoulders. It was subtle, but noticeable. I wasn't aware of the amount of stress I was under when simply watching Bubs 1 play with friends. 

This experience also helped me revise my current approach, when working with Bubs 1. No more getting over-aggravated with him. No more expecting him to behave like the other kids. I know that this sounds silly, because we've read and have been told that Bubs 1 will operate differently and that our window of opportunity to help him jump these gaps (of social challenges) is now. I was allowing this stress to build. This gathering, along with Bubs 1's occupational therapist, has been supportive in my efforts to rethink my change in working with the bubs.

Bubs 2 even scored some
Puffs treats for his
participation.

My focus is getting healthier. I no longer want to continue to build the stress, which has been weighing me down. In the larger picture, Bubs 1 is very lucky. There are many other kids much deeper into the spectrum than he is. Bubs 1 is just on the border and his challenges are repairable. He is in a preschool where the teachers and staff are well aware of his needs. We, his mom and I, have learned about how to "work" with him at home for his sensory needs. The latter is where I've been focusing more on.

In addition to suggesting gum chewing, Bubs 1's OT suggested that we also provide sensory stimuli when helping him redirect his behavior. So, I tickle him now. It's changed how the bubs decides to follow his mom's and my direction. He's more willing to do what we say if we tickle him while reinforcing our direction. He laughs and laughs while yelling "no." Then when the tickling's done he gets up and does what he's been told to do. Simple.
 

Little does Bubs 2 know, how much his participation is helping his family members, especially his older brother. One thing is for sure, it is helping his mom and me to be better parents for them both.

What Does "It" Look Like?

Bubs feeling the shells under his feet

 There are many times when I think that Bubs 1's PDD-NOS diagnosis was/is one big mistake. These times come when I subtly observe family and friends observing him. These times also typically occur within intimate environments, where the bubs is quite comfortable. He operates like a neurotypical kid in these spaces - most times. He also is on his best behavior in front of new people in these intimate spaces. He loves new people. It's amazing to watch him perform. It tells me that the bubs understands what his challenges are, but doesn't want people to know about them. He wants to fit in.

Don't we all.

There are also times when he's overwhelmed and can't hide his social challenges, whether or not new people are present. There are also times when he seems to be aware of his crowd and isn't concerned with acting out. I know, it sounds like a normal toddler. I heard people say this too. I mention an ASD characteristic and somebody responds with the could-be-just-a-normal-kid reply. I hate those responses and they usually come from people who have little knowledge of toddlers and even less knowledge of autism.

I was the first one to say that the bubs was normal, when his teachers said that we may want to consider having him evaluated. I also knew that there was something going on with the bubs. It was inconsistent and subtle. The parameters weren't linear.

To imply that the bubs mom and I just said "ok" when advised of the likelihood that he was on the spectrum, without questioning it, dismisses our credentials.

bubs first camping trip

Last July, when Bubs 1's autism was diagnosed, the evaluator commented that if there was to be a diagnosis there that it was going to fall near the border of the spectrum. He even used a baseball analogy of the uncertainty of a base hit down the third base line until it falls. His evaluation was thorough. Bubs 1's mom and I recognize it as legitimate. Even Bubs 1's pediatrician commented on the thoroughness of the diagnosis.

The diagnosis is now a side bar.

Bubs 1's mom and I are focused on learning about this spectrum. Bubs 1's mom will have him involved with a university study soon. We'll even get another evaluation as part of it. Bubs 2 too. He's in another study. Autism can strike twice in one family.

On the subject of learning about ASD, what I found out this past weekend is just how invisible this level of autism is. Within the setting of our home and other intimate environments, Bubs 1 is just another three-year-old boy walking, running and talking with his family and friends. Typical toddler ostacles too, i.e. learning to share and eating all his veggies. Bubs 1 can fool most people of his spectrum disorder if they did not know what to look for.

However, I see it and so does his mom.

bubs running the boardwalk

While camping in the backyard of a friends home this past weekend, the bubs was involved in his first camping experience. There were many other kids too. Parents and kids combined. The bubs seemed overwhelmed with it all. An event that stands out most in my mind is when one of the parents provided all the kids thin, wood-glider airplanes to play with. It was a very nice gesture. All the kids were throwing their gliders into the air and then chasing it down when it landed. I remember looking over at Bubs 1. He was sitting there crying. On his knees he began smashing his airplane into the ground, repeatedly. All the while he cried out, "My airplane is broken. It won't work!" He seemed to have stunned a few other kids with his behavior. I overheard one ask another, "What's wrong with him?" Most of the kids gathered around him and a few even tried to console the bubs. "Look," said one kid, "mine's broken too." She was trying to show him that it's nothing to cry about. Unfortunately, it didn't work. The bubs just cried louder.

This is an example of where I saw the autism, but nobody else did. It was subtle. It was almost invisible. Yes, many toddlers have meltdowns like this. However, as I mentioned earlier in this post, I know the bubs and it was different from his normal meltdowns. I noticed "something else" operating there.

Bubs with his cousin

To help him, I broke out some neon wrist bracelets that I brought from home. I asked him for his help. He noticed the neon pictures on the label and quickly obliged. We cracked, shook and connected the ends to form bracelets for each neon straw. I gave the bubs a handful and told him to give each of the kids a bracelet. He did. Bubs 1's mom learned this about the bubs. Just give him a task and empower him, she discovered. He loves to take control of his own actions. He loves to tell me, "I'll do it by myself, daddy."

It was great to watch him run around handing out a bracelet to each kid. I was aware that the bubs was likely feeling sensitive to crying in front of the other kids earlier. This task helped him regain some respect from his peers. I could tell this by the look in his face as he handed out the bracelets.

Some of the other parents helped us, but one couple didn't. In fact, they were pretty transparent about their feelings. They never came out and directly said anything, but their body language told the whole story. Face expressions included. What this couple didn't see, could never be explained to them.

bub's first tent

I had to let them go.

What I saw in the bubs was a kid who wanted to play with his friends, but struggled to navigate the social space due to overwhelming stimulus around him. He doesn't like it when kids laugh at him and he's very sensitive to ridicule. Thankfully, these kids didn't laugh at him. And most were even helpful. The bubs had a couple of other breakdowns later, but they were just par for the course. I knew that he worked hard to overcome his challenges. I knew that he didn't choose to be overstimulated. He worked very hard that night to be like the other kids. He did a damn good job too.

I was very proud of him.

My job is simple. Help the bubs learn to operate in groups according to mainstream standards, while also letting him know that he is perfect the way he is. Simple, but not necessarily easy.

Part I: Bubs 1 Learns to Chew Gum

Bubs 2 ready to eat

Big appetite... not picky

Poor Bubs 2. There are so many more blog posts about his older brother, Bubs 1. Isn't the youngest supposed to get all the attention? I guess that depends on any one of the plentiful extrinsic forces beyond the little guy's control. In Bubs 2's case, he has an older brother who is revealing himself to all of us slowly, but surely. Bubs 2 may not be receiving the overwhelming attention that a baby typically gets, but he does share his time well with his older brother. A sure sign of patience is already growing inside Bubs 2 as his mom and I continue to learn how Bubs 1 ticks. If we're not working on reminding Bubs 1 about respecting his little brother's "bubble space," a.k.a. personal space, then we're likely continuously encouraging Bubs 1 to "use his words," when he becomes frustrated. Bubs 2 watches his older brother interact with the therapist once a week, while hanging from my Ergo baby carrier and he puts up with accidental bumping and crashing, compliments of Bubs 1.

Bubs 2 and 1 eating lunch this week

Bubs 2 is, many times, on the unfortunate end of Bubs 1's bubble-space violations. Many toddlers are learning how to keep their hands to themselves. Bubs 1 is one of them. His mom and I are learning more about how Bubs 1 seeks to satisfy his unmet sensory needs. This can put a twist on how we parent (verb) situations when Bubs 1 is invading the bubble space of friends, brother and parents. Sensory Processing Disorder, or Sensory Integration (SPD or SI, respectively) is a condition that typically accompanies many autism diagnosis. Bubs 1's mom and I take him to a private Occupational Therapist (OT) weekly and he also sees another OT at preschool. The latter is part of his IEP. The prior is so that we can have a second opinion on ways to improve Bubs 1's behavior in the classroom, and at home. What I found interesting is how an OT differs from a physical therapist. The occupational therapist teaches individuals how to operate within their daily activities while coping with any physical deficits.

Bubs 2 realizes he's being watched

I think this occupation not only needs to understand the various medical conditions out there, but an occupational therapist also needs to understand how an individual's work culture operates, in addition to understanding the nature of the work. I found this out today, while talking with Bubs 1's OT. They can help the individual "fit in" and function effectively and comfortably. When working with Bubs 1, I'm noticing that the OT, Aaron, is basically constructing a physical pedagogy so to optimize learning opportunities with Bubs 1. Further, Aaron works with Bubs 1 on ways that the bubs can identify and solve his own sensory deficits, while in the classroom.

Today, Aaron and I discussed Bubs 1's biting issue. Bubs 1 has a tendency to bite, when either happily excited and/or when anger induced frustration sets in. We've been discussing this issue for a couple of visits now and it seems that Bubs 1 is having difficulties carrying an object with him that he is allowed to bite on. We thought that this would kill two birds with one stone. 1) It can have him satisfy his sensory need while also, 2) appropriately channel his negative actions (biting). This will allow him an outlet to satisfy his sensory need(s) rather than suppressing them by simply telling him to "not bite his friends." Bubs 1 has been told more than enough times not to bite. There's obviously something else going on inside this kid.

Bubs 2 prepares for Bubs 1's offensive

Aaron then suggested gum. I thought this was brilliant. If Bubs 1 needs to bite, then why not have the item already in his mouth and ready to go. Perhaps the continual chewing will even reduce, if not extinguish, the sensory need? So Aaron spent the hour teaching Bubs 1 how to keep the gum in his mouth, and not swallow it. It was one of the most interesting classroom lessons that I've observed (and I've observed a good amount).

There's a lot to learn about Bubs 1. Here's what I think  I know so far. I think that his sensory needs need to be addressed daily. Whether it's chewing gum, a bear hug, holding him upside down so he can twist and sway, having jump on the mini trampeline or rolling the air-filled, giant exercise ball over him, which we call a "steamroller," there seem to be many ways to help him. These "medications" can take place at any time of day. It may need to happen at multiple times a day too. Depending on how well we can help him cope with his needs will ultimately determine the impact of this disorder when he's inside the classroom. Basically, the more physical therapy he gets, the more teachable he is.

Bubs 1 helping his little bro

In the interest of keeping my readers fresh and preserving my blog posts from becoming to-bogged-down with words... I'm going to pick up this post on another day. Look for Part II: Bubs 1 Learns to Chew Gum. I'll discuss the content being delivered within the framework of the pedagogy described here.

However, before I close. I want to extend an apology to Bubs 2. He has, once again, endured the discussion/blog moving away from him and towards his brother. This was to be his blog, but it somehow took another turn. This is how I write. I hope he understands. I'm sure that he'll let me know if he doesn't... in... about... 15 to 20 years or so.

I can wait.

Past and Present

Playground where the tennis courts were

Inside the slide

 I was feeling nostalgic on the way to my brother's in Pennsylvania, so Bubs 1 and I called a childhood friend of mine and we made a "pit stop" in Highland Lakes, NJ. Not far from our route (just off Rt 84 from upstate NY), is the place where I grew up. Returning to my childhood brings both joy and pain, but I find myself continually returning.

I left Highland Lakes before I was ready. Not too long after my father left the family and eventually stopped sending money to us, my mother could no longer support the house. She told me that we couldn't stay in our home any longer. It was surreal. This place held my roots, which ran deep into its soil. Since then, I've been painfully enjoying every visit. This particular visit brought more joy, because I was sharing my history with Bubs 1. More than that, I was sharing the setting where many of my childhood memories stem - Beach 1.

After staying at my buddy Chris' house, Bubs 1 and I headed to Beach 1. As stated, this beach is an intrinsic part of my childhood. Every summer, during my elementary and middle school years, included basketball, softball, swimming and socializing. This was the place where I learned how to operate within the culture in which I was raised.

This view was unchanged

We found a playground where the old tennis courts once stood. I sent Bubs 1 up the playscape as I tried to imagine where, on the old courts, I would be standing if I were instantly transported back in time. For a split second, I wished that I could be transported back. I then turned around towards the lake. I looked for the spot where that old tree once stood. It was the only tree on the beach. It stood on the grass area. I couldn't find it among the numerous other trees planted since. The only view that didn't change was the lake. As long as I stared directly at the lake, I was back home.

There used to just be a fence here

On our visit, I stood, with coffee in hand, watching Bubs 1 play on the same grounds I stomped on at his age. It just felt right to have my little guy there enjoying a piece of my history all these years later. The only other feeling that will equal this accompanies the thought of knowing that I get to do this again with Bubs 2 (when he gets older). Moments leave, but memories stay.

I can bring both bubs here as many times as it takes for me to make peace with my past. I still have places to visit and old friends to see. On this trip, not only did we enjoy the hospitality of my good friend, Chris, but Bubs 1 and I got to hang out with more good friends - the Hibbits family.

Bubs 1 with friends from the hood

Bubs 1 and I drove through my old neighborhood and saw Mrs Hibbits outside her home. Mrs Hibbits was a good friend of my mother's. Bubs 1 never met his grandma, because she died almost 20 years before he was born. She would have spoiled the bubs - both bubs. Mrs Hibbits said the same thing. She invited Bubs 1 and me inside and we saw Mr Hibbits and soon Carol and her daughter took a ride up to visit (from the next town over). I heard a few stories about my mother that I never heard before. The combination of having Bubs 1 meet Mrs Hibbits, who lives just down the road from the house where I grew up in, was meaningful.


We'll be back for another visit soon.